Conflict with myself

Sometimes it is really funny to have conflict with myself. Im me! why do I still have conflict with my own self.
Truly funny.
But it made me feel bad recently.
I ought to behave like this, but i ended up doing it in another way.
What's wrong ya?
Why i just couldnt follow the ought rule.
The guilt feeling always come to me, right after I did it wrong.
Why I only realised everything after that.
Like, I should finish the stuff by today, ended up watching drama
Ohhh WTH~~~~
WC asked me, why being so emo recently?
I told her about this and she said it is common to everyone.
We have to go through it in order to understand ourselves more. Funny L.A.H.

The other side

Argh how wish i was the one with you guys on the other side of the web cam! I dont like to be alone while watching you guys having fun there. I wish i would be able to help, but i couldnt.
So nice seeing you guys making the blanket for her.
Yeah! Hope she will like it.
And cy stop complaining my clothes stink laa.
They had been kept in the storeroom for months.
What smell you expect uh?! hahaha
CY, sad laaa. We have been seeing each other everyday during form 5.
LOL sounds so wrong.
But now you are going to Sarawak, and i cant go back to meet you before you leave. How sad.
I will be leaving from Malaysia for some times. Again, we cant meet. I dont think we have any chances to meet anymore in this year. ARGGH, it is just March. How long yaaaa?! Hahahaa anyway, skype laaa! Wish you have a bright colourful study journey in Sarawak. Errr Sarawak or Sabah?! hahahaa whatever!

Career Fair

Oh my. Career Fair?!
I have been visited alot of education IT computer book fairs.
But the Career Fair, the first time ever.
The day before this fair, someone asked me whether im going to this event.
I was thinking in my mind.
WHAT IS THIS RELATED TO ME.
IT IS STILL EARLY FOR ME TO LOOK FOR COMPANIES.
Yeap, this is considered abit early for the first year student.
Somehow, today some of them were planning to go. So i decided to walk around, with a very casual mood.
Like shopping.
Hahaha what i expected is true. They are looking for 2nd or final year students.
Nothing to do with the 1st yeat students.
Anyway, walked around and experienced the atmosphere wasnt a bad thing.
There were quite alots of companies came to our campus.
But they seldom look for students who are in pure psychology.
Even something related to psychology, that wasnt what we are learning currently.
I could say all. Yes all of the companies which need psychology students, was about research.
YES, it made us happy for a few seconds. FINALLY. but it was only JUST a few seconds. seriously!
They need people who know how to run SPSS software and assist in their research team.
YES, sound so interesting.
But it is more on consumer's based. Not surprising.
Anyway, I felt abit miserable and worried after attending the fair.
It seem liked we have not much of choices in the near future.
Yeap, I know what Im aiming for. I know there are alot of opportunies out there. No worries. I feel so suprised that we are actually left not much of time before working as an office worker.
Wearing formal everyday, meeting with boss.
I dont think I can survive if working like this. It is so bored and not challenging. What challenges i meant isnt about the difficulty of task. but i just feel bore. Close the eyes and ears. Listen to your heart.

Appreciate

I saw my friend post this on her facebook.
"no man is an island..appreciate each other which is around you now..hehe.."
I was so curious about why should we appreciate someone who doesnt appreciate us. So i commented on her post
"what is the point of appreciate someone who doesnt appreciate you?"
And what her reply was really shocked me. The question that i never think of.
"first thing,did you show your appreciation to the person?"
I asked this question to myself. And I realised that I didnt.
What is now...

个性

因为 很难不去告诉 身边朋友 自己的心情 遇到的事!
所以就把心里遇到的东西 告诉了思豪先生!哈哈
也因为 我们之前 为了 st.john 的事意见不合 吵得很凶(那些也是很多年前的事了), 所以他知道了我的个性
因为自己的 迟钝 和爱开玩笑 的 性格 会让很多简单 的事情 变得很复杂
当人家生气时 自己还没察觉到 开了玩笑,导致成见更深
为了不让自己的情绪不受控制 ,当我认真 要谈 解决 时 会压低自己的声音 和比较开朗的声音 说话, 他说我这样会让人觉得 我 很伪装 不认真
可是 如果我用 正常语气 谈时,人家会误以为 我是来吵架的
没办法 我声音 就是 天生 那么大声,有时我真的不能控制~
哈哈哈啊 最后他说了 尽量少来往 让这样的事 慢慢 过去! 这样才能解了双方的杀气!
哈哈哈哈 用杀气好像 太.......! MAKE IT PEACE
记住啊 安慧!

朋友

我很好奇 对你来说 什么是朋友?
我认为 朋友 在你的见解里 应该 只是个词。。。
但在大部分的时间里 你应该 是把它 当作 个
本来心情很不错的
有点懒懒的
但谢谢你
见到你 让我的 火马上烧起来
I am very awake now.
我不是小气 而是大气到~~~被你这样地对待
让我知道 你只是 个屁!
我已经很控制自己的情绪了
不要来和我说话
不然我怕 我忍不到!

Leave Me Alone

I cant stand the fake way!
I dont know how long i can act.
I lose the courage to talk to a liar.
SO PLEASE JUST GET OUT of my life.
If not you wont be safe too!
Dont try to evoke my anger
otherwise i will reveal your stupid idiot fake mask!
You are such a freak!
Freak me out seriously.
I ady met one bipolar depression!
Here you come another.
Dont ever let me hear the words from your mouth.
The bipolar You got nothing better than the liar.
YOU SHOULD FIND COUNSELLOR AND TALK ABOUT YOUR FREAK EMOTION PROBLEM!
Ohya, my friend is studying her counsellor program. Shall I introduce her to you?
I will convince her not charging you! Just take this case as her final year project. How do you feel?
BAKA!

以为 觉得

哈哈 我真的很讨厌 以为 和 觉得 这些字眼。
当 你为了这一个小误会 而说出 这样 的话 来质问 我时,我对你 已经 失望到底了。
这一年多来的交情 一瞬间 化作 一样地 散去!
原来 这样 就能让你 这么样地误会 我,也就像 他们所说 的 这朋友 不交也罢。
算了 你这样 瞬间 让我 彻底地 了解 你 的个性。
Take it as a lesson. Never be a fool again.

亲手

亲手做的东西 真的 很不一样。
以前小的时候 觉得 卡片 很cheap 不喜欢
甚至有时还觉得 很 碍 地方
现在 长大了 才发现到 做卡片是最耗时的
不像 那些礼物 只需要 逛逛 shopping mall 就随手可得
当然 前提是 身上要有 $$$! 哈哈
去年生日时 收到了 卡片 很开心
久久拿出来 再看一次 都还会 大笑!
我也给 妈妈做了一张 生日卡
因为我的手工 一向都很差 所以还请教了weijeen.
回家时 问她说 :" eh, 我做的卡片呢?"
" 收起来了啦!"
开心! 爸爸的生日也接近了...要开始准备!

Freshy

Realized that I stopped blogging for such a long period.
Uni life is not that easy and fun as i thought.
It is still fun but most of time it comes along with stress.
I treat stress as a motivator. DO I?
I love the way we live.
Come to update my current mood. I was shocked by the date of today.
I thought it is 3 April. aiks. I miss her so much. 9 years time, I couldnt believe it. Sis said want go pay a visit to her grave this year during Qing Min.
I doubt we can make it. She is ady back to the jungle place, started her new sem.
Well. maybe during summer.
Come to My 4th uncle. He is ady missing one year and more. Where the hell is he now. WE SERIOUSLY HAVE NO IDEA. He cant live alone in this realistic world! Be own hero. Dont depend on others. Dont take it as granted.