Ambition

I believe that everyone had been asked to write an essay for one's ambition. If not on essay, I remembered primary teacher would always ask students to fill in the ambition into the report card. There are always 3 choices for us. I got the chance to look back what i wrote, and i realized that my first choice is psychiatry since I was primary 4, consistent until now! what surprising uh! Yeah, I wish to be that. but recently I realized that that is not easy. I mean, I found myself might not be suitable in doing this job.

I love to comfort people, i guess! or maybe I am good in comforting myself. Every time my friends call me and I love to suggest them in a way that they actually feel better. Some even told me that they feel better after  talking to me. which I feel very proud of myself. but I met a bottleneck recently, hah! I have a friend who is quite depressing all the time. She has severe negative thinking. I had once talked to her for about 5 hours, she asked me how can i keep myself happy. I am doubt with the question. why do I need to keep myself happy all the time. isn't it tired? My answer, just be yourself, express your emotion out! and more and more questions which really surprised me. She know she is too depress, SHE KNEW, but she couldnt get herself out from that. she keep walking within the negative affect circle. which i guess this is the typical symptom of depression patient have.

I talked to her until my chin has almost dropped out. and I thought that she has changed. Yes, first second days she forced herself not to think in that negative way. but the duration of availing was not held long. She turns back again. Exam period, im pretty sure that she worked 110% but she kept saying that she will fail, fail fail. which drag me to the downpour! because i have gave up on comforting her. and this worry me, because i dont know whether i would have the persistent patience to counsel or help a patient.

Well well well... to whom read this, keep quiet and you know who im talking about. haha! shhh, secret!